Did you know that Romans is a support-raising letter?

Back in October, Cory and I attended a seminar about support-raising. One of the support-raising coaches mentioned that Paul's intent for his letter to the Romans was to raise funds for his trip to Spain (verse 15:24). I decided that after returning home from the seminar I would re-read Romans and view it through the lens of fund-raising in order to uncover Paul's method for supporting his ministry work. God did, after all, sustain him through an entire life of ministry.

After finishing Romans, I didn't feel like I had necessarily gained any sort of concrete direction in my support raising. God didn't show me a 3-tiered system to fully fund a ministry - not that i expected him to. I did notice that Paul spent most of his letter sharing truths with his readers that applied the gospel to where they were at personally in their spiritual journey. He praised the Roman Christians for what they were doing well and cautioned them about things that could become a struggle for them. The actual part where he makes a request for assistance is very short and easy to miss.

I surmise that the Romans had a more difficult time giving funds than other Christian communities. Though Paul talks about money very little in an explicit way, he seems to talk about it through addressing heart issues that affect generosity and feelings of entitlement. Common themes of the "Roman Road" seem to take on a new meaning when thinking about money. The often-quoted Romans 3 refers to our inability to be righteous of our own accord and the foolishness of boasting about what we have. This is followed up by a passage about wages in Romans 4:4-5 "Now when a man works, his wages are not credited to him as a gift but as an obligation. However to the man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness."

Trying to unpack this scripture feels like a brain teaser because Paul is taking something common in our daily lives (working to receive a wage) and using it as a metaphor to teach the Romans something about spiritual "works." Obviously God doesn't want to us to be bums and not work. This verse isn't meant to spur us towards a vow of poverty. The first part refers to a paradigm that the Romans had: You work to earn money and when you receive that money you are entitled to it because you worked hard for it. Perhaps the Romans where applying this principle to the "righteous" things they did for God, treating the title of "righteous" as something they had earned. The "man who does not work" is simply a man who does not seek to build up a credit of righteousness through his own doing.

The way I see it, this would have a great impact on the way the Romans actually view money. You work hard to earn money and perhaps you start to feel that your money is just a way to store your time in measurable increments. The difficult thing about this view is that is makes it extremely difficult to have a generous attitude when giving your money away. You start finding yourself thinking, 'Don't they know that asking for $250 is equivalent to a week of my life spent working. They are asking for a week of my life!" And when you do give it's hard to resist some feeling of self-credited righteousness. As if we are entitled to even one more breath on this earth. I say all of this because this is how I think about money.

Because I view money this way, it makes it extremely difficult for me to ask people for financial assistance in my ministry work. Going back to Paul's actual request for money in Chapter 15, he unashamedly uses the logic of, 'I've ministered to you, my dear friends, now help me minister to others.' If the Romans choose to financially assist Paul, that money will not benefit the Roman community, it will not be used to feed the hungry or help the homeless. It will be used to procure food and transportation for Paul's journey and to sustain him while he's away.

These are things that hinder my ability to ask for assistance - the CCO support-raising community calls it "mind trash." When I ask I'm afraid I'll get answers like, "You've moved away to another community and you're not using the money to benefit our people," or, "You should be working with another more needy population group like those urban youth you used to work for, " and even, "I thought you always wanted to be in Colorado, why aren't you there?" But I'm encouraged by Paul's ability to ask. He spent an amount of time in a community and then moved on. He wrote to these communities but sometimes did not see them again. He also spent time in wealthy communities and cities because he knew that privileged people with wealth could be very poor in spirit. And finally, I'm sure he had a favorite place to be (perhaps it was his homeland) yet he would not deny God's call to other places.

And actually, I have had some people tell me these things. I'm glad they've been honest. I hope that through this support-raising process I will get the opportunity to talk to the people I love about their beliefs about money. I've noticed many different ways of thinking and I hope that God gives me the opportunity to discuss this most-difficult-topic with people who are willing to share their thoughts. I also have begun to recognize that even if this job I have is short-lived and even if I come up short of my fund-raising goal, God is transforming the way I think about money and reshaping the way my heart feels about wealth. I'm very thankful for the experience. For the first time in my life I don't feel that my wages are given to me "out of obligation" from a higher impersonal entity. I feel that my wages are a gift. And subsequently, my time is a gift.

What is the Equipment Room Anyways?

So you know that I'm the Equipment Room Manager, but what does that mean? On Monday, Cory and I went out the the Equipment Room (ER for short) and updated the inventory. When I'm not leading trips, I'm working on equipment-related needs. The inventory hasn't been updated since 2009 because they haven't had a full-time staff person to invest their time in the ER. The ER has changed and evolved a lot in the past few years as our team has continued to turn the old barn into an organized storage pace.  In November we ripped off the roof and put on a new one. Can you imagine me pulling nails and sawing wood... I know that might be difficult. Good thing we had a contractor to pull everyone together. Below are some pictures I took at the ER so you can understand more about what my job entails.

Pictured here are our internal frame packs that we bought from NOLS (National Outdoor Leadership School). Stowed away are 40 ancient external frame packs. I'm in the process of fixing our packs and buying new ones

We hang our sleeping bags to protect the synthetic fill. Keeping the bags packed up damages the insulating fibers over time and will decrease the degree rating of the bag. I need to look into new sleeping bags as well.

Over here we have our cook gear, duffel bags full of PFDs and other paddling-related gear, and canisters of stuff sacks and other bags.

Tents and shelter-related gear. I need to do some work on patching our tents and buying some new ones.

Climbing gear!

In addition to the boats pictured here, we have a dozen kayaks stored in the barn. Notice the large fire ring that we just put in.  We are working on making the ER more user-friendly so that groups can come out here and train on gear use before their trip and stay the night.We have a composting toilet but no running water yet.

Hope these pictures give you a more tangible idea of what I'm up to!

The Pittsburgh Traverse

This weekend Cory and I "traversed" 16 miles around the city by foot. Our little trek helped me to appreciate the city more and to understand its culture and history. Some of you have never seen Pittsburgh and I want to show you some of the pictures to give you some sort of a framework for understanding our beautiful city. You'll notice that bridges are a major theme.

Our neighborhood, Squirrel Hill, is mostly inhabited by people of Jewish ancestry, including many Orthodox Jews.

 Chatham University, a small all-girls school with a beautiful campus.

The water tower on the upper hill.  The Hill District is a sad story of segregation. The neighborhood continues to decline and we passed many vacant lots on our way to the top of the hill. Remaining residents are very friendly and cling to what little community is left. 

One of the views from the Hill.

 Descending down through Polish Hill. We stopped for coffee at a shop that Cory's bakery delivers to.

 Pretty church in Polish Hill.

Walked along the river through the Strip District (a market area). The sloped roof in this picture is the convention center.

 Artistic underpass walkway.

Crossed over the river into the North Side, formerly the city of Allegheny, until it got swallowed up by the city of Pittsburgh. This is a Civil War Memorial in a park. Found a homeless man sleeping nearby.

 Not the most photogenic couple on this particular day. I was starting to get tired. Downtown in the background.

Awesome secluded house. Notice the central glass room where there was a spiral staircase.

 Walking up our biggest hill to the neighborhood of Mt. Washington.

More bridges.

Downtown. Many people have asked me if Pittsburgh is "still dirty." Here's your answer.

 A goofy statue on top of Mt. Washington. Below is the description.

 More bridges.

 East Carson Street on the South Side, home of shopping and more bars than a city could ever need.

"Paper streets." Exist on paper only, not driveable.

Humble Beginnings

If you know me at all, you know that my heart belongs in Colorado. Sometimes I've wrestled internally with the thought that perhaps Colorado has become an idol to me. Maybe I long for it too much and put too much hope in the happiness that I think I will find there. Sometimes when I go for trail runs I daydream that someday I'll be running the trails in the Indian Peaks Wilderness at sunrise, my muscles and lungs accustomed to the Colorado air. But I've prayed about my desires and God has reminded me why my heart is so attached to Colorado.

I've heard many speakers address how Americans have become too touchy-feely in their relationships with God and that we need to return to a good foundation of knowledge about the qualities of God. As a high school student, I needed exactly the opposite. My father has instilled in me a good head-knowledge of who God is, but I always desired an emotional connection with my Creator. When I went to Colorado the summer after my Freshman year of college, I had no idea that God was preparing me for a major transition. Backpacking in the mountains that summer, I was consumed with awe for my Creator. Who am I that he would design such a beautiful world that I would be free to roam and wander in it? I finally connected with Him on the emotional level that I had always craved.

He also transformed me in a tangible and concrete way and took away a "thorn of my flesh" (referencing the thorn that Paul pleaded for God to take away from him). In high school I had become totally consumed with my body image. I soon came to an unhealthy point and embarrassingly struggled with times where I would starve myself and times where I would secretly binge on food. Even into my Freshman year of college this obsession consumed me. When I went backpacking for the first time, God miraculously healed me. I realized on that trip that I needed to eat food to be able to hike the next day. My mind was transformed from viewing food as a necessary evil to nourishment.  Additionally, I had no access to mirrors and had only two outfits in my backpack. Instead of feeling uncomfortable, I felt free living this simplified life.

Returning from Colorado, I felt like an entirely different person and I felt frustrated with my inability to verbalize this transition to the people close to me. You read about Jesus preforming miraculous healings in the New Testament but those were always evidenced by some physical change. My mind had been healed by God in the mountains and that healing was sudden and complete.

Remembering this story helps me to realize that the reason why I yearn for Colorado is because that is the place I feel most connected to my Lord. But I'm not in Colorado right now, I'm in Pittsburgh. As Cory and I prepared to move to Pittsburgh, my heart and mind wrestled with God. Why would he place such a distinct yearning in my heart only to lead me somewhere else? When we got here, it took a little while for the reason to become clear.

A year ago, Cory and I applied to work for the CCO. Though we were accepted as CCO staff, the placement process proved to be difficult. Neither of us had received placements when we moved here in September. Later that month we volunteered to help lead a backpacking trip with two other staff. They affirmed that we would be good fits for their team, which was encouraging, but we needed real and concrete positions. Less than two weeks after the trip a position opened up for me that was perfect. As the Equipment Room Manager, I get to use my knowledge about gear needs for backcountry adventures to benefit the ministry. Little did I know that my team had been praying for me to come along for about 3 years! In addition to managing our equipment needs, I get to take college students on backpacking trips so that they, too, can experience the transformation that I went through in the outdoors. The uncanny thing is the CCO's motto is "Transforming college students to transform the world."

I'm not in Colorado, but I'm in the right place.